dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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