garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
