He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
