either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
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He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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