I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize