My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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