You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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