I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize