The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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