I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I could have mohawked her pubes.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
