I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
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At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
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Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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