When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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