Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He has the fingertips of a God
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