Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
