wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
