you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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