I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
