i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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