is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
