Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
