I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
foreskin is a definite game changer
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
