So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
