i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
