In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
