I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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