I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
