SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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