I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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