I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize