Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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