I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
