dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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