So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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