I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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