Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
