And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
