Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
