Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
