I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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