If that was your dad, he is hot
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
