Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
