:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
