she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize