at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
where are you?
Hypothermia
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
