So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
