did you get engaged???
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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