my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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