If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
