Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
