yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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