oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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