The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
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He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
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Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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