dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
