remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸
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