Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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