I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
