well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
4 words: hood of his car
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize