im about as happy as oj after his trial
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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