The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
