Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You smell like a Billy Joel song
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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