I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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