My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
