Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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